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  • rachaelentine

Things I Wish I'd Known Regarding What I'm Capable Of

Are you contemplating divorce and feeling terrified of being on your own? Are you used to having a partner to rely on in making major decisions? Are you concerned you won't be able to do what you need to do for you and your family on your own?

A few weeks back I posted about shifting perspective and selling the residence my children had come to call home over the past 10 years. I wrote about the potential upheaval, transition shockwaves and distress it could cause - and how once I shifted my perspective and saw the potential opportunities it could create for my children and I - I went for it. I seized the financial opportunity that was staring me in the face - I'd have been selfish and ignorant not to. I found an amazing local realtor. I hired an organizing dynamo. I hired a superstar stager. I followed the recommendations of all of these experts. I purged and tossed and hid the rest behind closed doors. I had painters come to repair and paint where needed. I listed my home in a month. It sold in one week. For well over asking. I had been so scared to leave the life we've all come to know here - but the genuine excitement for the future and confidence in the choices I've made for my family has given that fear a smackdown. Yesterday I closed on my new home. Me. Alone. It's in a new town - but not a town that is new to me. It's a 4.2 mile drive (just confirmed by Waze) that would take me 16 minutes if I left at this moment. Our new town is familiar to me - It's closer to Costco, the best Target around, some of my favorite restaurants - and has a Kings Supermarket- which my current town sadly lost last year. The development has a year-round enclosed pool - a perfect distraction for screen-obsessed kids plus gyms, business spaces and a billiards room and bar. It has a 16 Handles, an upscale pizza place (with a bar!), and one of my favorite Greek restaurants It has less square footage - but more usable space. It was built 12 years ago in comparison to my 90 year old home which is full of creaks and cracks. It has high-end finishes, and as my friend so aptly surmised "This may be a DOWNSIZE... but it's an UPGRADE." I'm losing my yard, but I'm gaining a covered front porch - and while the space isn't huge, I've always dreamt of having a covered front porch. I'm reaching out to old friends in the area, reconnecting, and making new friends who live right there in our new development. It feels like home already. I did this. While I of course had the support of friends and family - I did this alone. I saw and I seized a financial opportunity. I took every step to make it happen myself. I got my kids on board 100%. I've hired the movers, and I will get us settled. I have proved to myself that I am capable of so much more than I thought in those early days. It's rewarding. It's gratifying. It's empowering - and it feels fucking amazing. I urge you to make a list of decisions in your life where you are afraid of taking a leap and having to do it alone? What are the major concerns you have, and how real are they? What very small steps could you take towards something that scares you? And how would you feel once you took those small steps? I only started with one step... then one step turned into another and then another. And at the end of all those steps, I looked up and found myself in a much better place - emotionally, and soon to be physically- and you, I promise, can do it too!

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